Edit - This blog was written in response to a number of questions that faculty and staff have had about the structures and practices of F/S Life. I have been asked to facilitate a professional development on the subject. My second in two years. We all have our own unique languages when we talk about our particular fields of passion, but I wonder if F/S opaqueness is actually doing us harm?
It seems apropos doesn't it? After spending the past five years engaged in some form of work with or within the interfraternal movement, I think I am beginning to feel (and look, I dearsay) a bit like Bill Murray in the Lost in Translation.
Let me back up a bit and preface this blog post by saying that my comments are based purely on anecdotal information through my own lived experiences. Others may have had very different experiences and more nuanced perspectives than I, but I have a sneaking suspicion that I am not the only person who finds myself lost in the gap as it were.
What do I mean by lost in the gap do you ask? Being lost in the gap to me means being put in the position of speaking for different world perspectives for different people at different times. In this case, often times people ask me "What is Greek Life?" while I often times find myself the "voice of campus life" when working directly with chapters.
When I was a consultant for my fraternity for two years, I often translated the black and white regulations of risk management policies into the realistic practices of undergraduate chapters.
When I worked as a graduate student within a fraternity and sorority life office, I found myself at the nexus of conversations between students, staff, alumni, and faculty.
In the past two years I have moved away from direct involvement with fraternity and sorority life into leadership programming and academic support initiatives. Through my time developing and implementing a healthy masculinities exploration program called "Real Fraternity Men" and with the number of fraternity and sorority students who now come through my office, I find myself proud and privileged to continue to be connected to the movement that gave me so much.
But not everyone feels the same way. In every one of my positions, I have found myself translating issues and concerns for other groups. It can be tiring sometimes.
There are few universal truths in life. The closest I have ever gotten to one such truth is the statement that I have heard from over 52 chapters across the country and throughout my current institution where fraternity brothers and council officers have repeated the mantra "IF ONLY THEY KNEW WHAT WE DID BETTER, THEY WOULD LIKE US MORE!"
Part of me agrees. I have met many members of the movement, affiliated and not, who have had transformational experiences personally, professionally, and socially as a result of their involvement with fraternities and sororities.
But we need to do more than just put the burden on others to know US, rather, the movement (myself included) must do a better job of telling OTHERS about what we do while involving the community in our activities.
Why is this the case? It is simple really -
In the past two years, I have worked in positions with few publicly affiliated members of the fraternity and sorority movement. Those who were affiliated rarely declared themselves. But EVERYONE I have worked with had one, two, three or more compelling personal stories of a fraternity or sorority chapter doing some catastrophically bad things.
Poor grades, homophobic, racist, or bigoted social themes, feelings of isolation and exhaustion demonstrated by student workers, volunteers, or participants who were also going through their new member process, sexual assaults (far too many to count), and other incidents are common stories told by colleagues I have worked with. Just recently, one promising pre-med student dropped from a 3.5 to less than a .5 in one semester! As a result, tens of thousands of need and merit based financial aid is danger of being lost.
Theses stories aren't just rumours, although everyone I have talked asks me about animal house. These are real stories, real experiences, and real students for whom the movement has failed.
Which brings me back to my original point. For the second time in two years, I have been asked to give a presentation on "What Is Greek Life" as an advocate and as a professional staff person who works to promote student success. It is a presentation I enjoy, because it allows me to provide context to what can be a very opaque system to some. It also allows me to put forward a great number of positive stories.
Perhaps most importantly, I often frame the conversation as how fraternities and sororities have strived to meet the needs not provided for by college campuses over the decades.
I know the spiel.
I can cite the statistics.
I will put my best face on it and talk about the good it does.
I have seen the overwhelming number of people who have come away from their undergraduate careers far better off for having initiated.
But here's the twist - all of that is lost in translation precisely because it is a spiel.
This post isn't about living your values (although you should). It isn't about developing value congruent recruitment strategies, better returns on your investment programming wise, or even leadership theory.
This post is a warning.
When I sit around a table of staff who counsel students about all of the resources available on campus, fraternities and sororities are often left out. When I try to talk to them about why the movement is a positive one, I know for a fact that they are skeptical. Both Phired Up and Recruitment Bootcamp taught me the importance of building bridges to cultivate social connections to promote the movement. Yet I watch chapters squander the connections with advisors across the country! Many students who are unsure are going to their advisors and being VEHEMENTLY counseled AGAINST joining one of the many excellent fraternities and sororities across the country. The end result is that when concerned parents and students come to staff to have their concern about our organizations allayed, they are in fact reinforced. While none of this is malicious in nature, it does reflect a careful judgement made by professionals who do not know the full extent of what fraternities and sororities can do.
From my experience, we focus a lot on competing amongst ourselves. Holding better parties, building better floats, getting more awards. But at the end of the day, many across our respective campuses just don't care about the minutiae of it all.
Unfortunately, no amount of dodgeball philanthropy tournaments are going to counter the very real horror stories and the magnified threats propagated by stereotypes of "Total Fraternity Move" and the vocal minority of harmful individuals.
One day at a time, one person at a time, we can make the difference. Some day WE can show OTHERS just how truly amazing the interfraternal movement CAN be.
To my friends in the movement, don't get lost in the translation. Don't give up the challenge!
Proud to be a brother of Phi Kappa Psi,
Jacob
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